hot girl healing episode 2 
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Kirsten: [00:00:00] Oh my God. I'm so happy you're here. Welcome back. Welcome back to My Little Queens. Okay, welcome, welcome, welcome. So this is the Hot Girl Healing Podcast, and we're gonna talk about all things self-help and hot girl healing. So today on the Hot Girl Healing Podcast, we are going to talk about the secret to healing your trauma and some actual things that you can do today to take control of your life.

Be more confident, overcome insecurity, and heal your trauma. So, you know, I don't like to waste no time. So let's dive right into it. So I think people tend to think of healing in such a complex and like [00:01:00] it's such a hard thing that's so outta reach. Like you're gonna have to listen to a meditation every single day.

You're gonna have to go to the gym every single day. You gotta wake up at 5:00 AM You're gonna have to take cold showers every morning. , all that shit that people say you have to do to overcome your trauma and heal, and the thing is that that literally couldn't be farther from the truth because that's not what healing is.

The thing is doing all these things like going to the gym every day, waking up at 5:00 AM and taking cold showers or whatever the fuck people are telling you to do, while these are great things that you can do for yourself, these things are not what creates healing. This is not how healing. So, how does healing happen?

So healing your trauma comes from understanding it and understanding yourself. So allow yourself to look within and challenge, challenge the underlying beliefs that are controlling you. That are controlling you and [00:02:00] controlling your behavior. So how do you change your beliefs? Well, first of all, let's start at taking a look at what a belief actually.

So what is a belief? How are beliefs created? So this is gonna blow your fucking mind because this blew my mind when I heard it. Okay. Are you ready? Okay. A belief is a repeated thought. Okay. I'll say it one more time because it's so important what I just said. Belief is a repeated thought. Your beliefs are literally nothing more than thoughts that have been repeated so many times that you have started to operate around that thought, and that's what makes it a belief.

The fact that you unconsciously and without even actively thinking about it, you behave in a way that is consistent with that repeated. A belief is just a thought that has been repeated so many times to yourself that your brain has [00:03:00] adapted to live around that belief and operate around that belief. So if you've told yourself over and over, I'm ugly.

I'm ugly. I hate myself, I hate myself, I'm not good enough, people don't like me. Whatever that underlying thought is, if it's been repeated enough to. It's now an unconscious belief. It's no longer just a thought. It's an unconscious belief that controls your life without you even knowing it. And there's a reason you have that belief.

Beliefs don't just come from nowhere. You've created it, and that's how this works. And understanding this concept is so powerful because it means that we are in control. We are in control of our own belief. So this is how you can build yourself and become someone that you love. Become someone that you respect and overcome your trauma because you can control your beliefs and [00:04:00] what you choose to believe about yourself and the world around you.

And people may say, well, that's fake. I can't just tell myself I'm beautiful, I'm confident. I'm happy every day, and expect everything to change. And. I do agree, which is why I'm gonna teach you an exercise you can do to stop faking it and really start believing it, because when you believe that you're confident, you don't need to fake it anymore.

It doesn't feel like, and imagine how exhausting that is going through life. Faking it every single day. Here's the thing, we lie to ourselves all the time. We're constantly lying to ourselves. If you're telling yourself, oh my God, I can't even look at food without gaining. I'll go to the gym tomorrow. I'm so fucking ugly.

No one will ever love me. These things are not true, but you tell these things to yourself anyway, so why not lie to yourself in a more positive way? You're lying to yourself anyway, so why not lie to [00:05:00] yourself in a way that makes you feel good? I think a big secret to happiness is radical delusion. Become fucking delusional.

Think that you are the most beautiful person in the world. Think that you light up a room when you walk in. Allow yourself to bring back your childlike imagination and focus more on, focus more on things that make you feel good rather than thinking about if the thought is true or not. Because it doesn't matter if it's true.

It doesn't matter if you really are an ugly piece of shit and other people think that it doesn't. Because we still like ugly people, . We still, cause we don't care about that. Because like I've said in a previous podcast, people don't think about you that much. People don't genuinely care as much as you think they do.

The only thing that matters is what you believe about yourself. So is it really true that you can't even look at food without [00:06:00] gaining weight? Is it really true that you're unlovable? Is that really. And even if you're saying to yourself right now, yes, it is really true. I really do think I'm an ugly piece of shit.

Who doesn't deserve love? Okay, two things. One, I'm sorry you feel that way about yourself, little queen. And two, even if you feel that way and you really believe that it's true about yourself, there's a reason you hold that belief. That belief has been created by. Because you have reaffirmed those thoughts to yourself so many times that it's become a belief.

But the beautiful thing here is, is that you can change your beliefs at any time simply by changing your thoughts. So how does this concept relate to healing and overcoming trauma? So the thing with healing is healing is really just the decision, the decision to change your thought. [00:07:00] Healing is the decision to think better thoughts.

Healing is the decision to look within yourself and try and understand where those beliefs came from. What are you neglecting? What are you not wanting to look at in yourself? What scares you? That is exactly what you need to look at. And the thing is, we don't heal without being uncom. Nothing changes.

When you're uncomfortable, things will stay exactly the same, and that's why it's comfortable. It's a survival mechanism by the brain to protect you because change is scary and change is uncertain. The brain doesn't like things that are uncertain and unknown, so it creates fear as a mechanism to protect you.

So fear is nothing more than a mechanism of the brain to protect. And in that we can see that the body loves us. The body loves us so much, that it creates [00:08:00] these things to protect us. So why is there a mismatch between your body loving you so much that it heals you itself? That you get a cut on your arm and it heals itself, but your mind, your mind can't keep up with that?

Your mind isn't in the same place. Your mind doesn't love you that much. Change is necessary and change is something that you need to become comfortable with to overcome your insecurities, your fears, the things holding you back, the things you don't like about yourself. Change is necessary to overcome those things.

And how do you overcome these things By looking within yourself and discovering what your underlying beliefs are. So I'll give you an. . Um, for me, an underlying belief was always that people don't like me. People don't care what I have to say. And just, I guess basically people don't like me. This thought is something that even if I wasn't consciously [00:09:00] thinking it, it was an underlying and subconscious belief that I was holding onto throughout my whole.

So here's how I overcame that. I overcame this underlying belief when I genuinely started to become curious and notice when this feeling came up, when did I feel like people don't like me the most? And I noticed when that feeling and belief of people don't like me would come up if I felt excluded or when I was meeting new people, or just generally felt uncomfortable in a social situation.

So I became aware of this and I took some time to look within myself and be like, okay, so I'm feeling this way. Okay, so how does this connect with my past? How does this connect to my past? So I would go back and I'd be like, okay, I found an example. Um, I guess here's an example of when I felt this feeling in my past.

It was I walked into a room with my [00:10:00] coworkers talking, and I noticed that the conversation just stopped as soon as I walked in. And maybe this has happened to you guys too, but when you walk in a room and people are all talking, and then the second you walk in, they stop talking. It's a very like shitty feeling, and this was a pretty small, and I don't know, seemingly insignificant moment in my day, but it would reawaken that underlying belief of people don't like me.

They stop talking when I walked in because they don't want me to be a part of their conversation because they don't like me. Then I realized, well, that's fucking stupid. Because why would I automatically assume the worst? Why would I automatically assume the worst? Why would I automatically assume that that has anything to do with me?

Because chances are it doesn't. And even if it does, who fucking cares? Because their opinion of me as I teach on this podcast does not matter cuz what matters. Is my opinion of myself. So [00:11:00] the reason that I assumed that it had anything at all to do with me is, is because I was holding onto that belief of people don't like me.

People don't care what I have to say. People don't wanna talk to me. I had let this thought run so wild and so free in my mind that it became a. So the way I healed this underlying belief of people don't like me is I kept going back until I figured out where that belief originated. And once I figured out where that belief originated, um, like for me it was being bullied in school and I would eat lunch alone in the bathroom.

And I never had any friends. So, so my brain had just accepted that as the way things are. That's just the way life is. That's the way she goes. That's not true, and things never changed. I was like that all throughout high school. I had no friends, didn't talk to anyone, assumed people didn't like me, so I wouldn't even try.[00:12:00] 

And that continued all the way until about two years ago when I started my self-help journey and I tackled this underlying belief. I really hope I can give you that gift of overcoming these underlying beliefs that are subconsciously running your life. So here's the takeaway and here's the secret to healing your trauma.

Identify your underlying beliefs that are secretly controlling your reality. Unchecked and repeated thoughts. Turn into beliefs. Become a co-creator of your reality by taking control of your thoughts and therefore taking control of your. Your beliefs about yourself, the world around you, other people, money, relationships, are controlling your emotions, behaviors, and actions, and therefore your results and the reality you live in, the life you currently have is created by your [00:13:00] thoughts and beliefs combined with your behavior, which is influenced by those thoughts and beliefs.

I know that was a lot to tick in, but just remember everything, everything, everything starts with your thoughts. Become mindful of your thoughts and choose positive thoughts. Keep going back in your memory and pinpointing the feeling until you find the earliest memory. and the only thing that changed that underlying belief that I held and changed my reality is when I was willing to go back in my mind, relive those experiences and make a conscious choice that I'm going to change that.

So I just really started taking a look at myself and finding things that I liked about myself, and I just came to the realization. Other people reflect your beliefs back to you. So because I felt like other people didn't like me and other people didn't care what I have to say, and that [00:14:00] thought, that was my underlying belief.

And even though I wasn't consciously thinking it, the belief was controlling my emotions, it was controlling my behavior, and therefore it was controlling the way I showed up in the world. Was controlling the way I spoke to other people, because when you think that other people don't care what you have to say and you think that they don't like you, imagine how how much that changes how you treat other people and how you talk to other people.

You make it true for yourself, which reinforces the belief and keeps you holding onto it and keeps you stuck in the same loop. So the only way out of this loop. Is to figure out where it starts. And it starts with your thoughts, and it starts with the repeated thoughts you've been telling yourself for way too long that are controlling your reality.

And then you make a conscious effort to change your thoughts so that over time they turn into beliefs [00:15:00] and then it becomes easy because they unconsciously control. So here's the activity. Okay? Cause I just kind of talked about my own experience and what I did, but I'm gonna break it down in exact steps that you can do.

Okay, here we go. So, one, figure out what your underlying beliefs are. Two, connect those underlying beliefs to your current reality so that you can figure out how those beliefs are influencing your current reality and where these issues are arising. Three, challenge those beliefs and choose better thoughts, which will change your reality and belief system.

Take some time to think about what is going wrong in your reality right now. What problems are you having and how can you connect that back to childhood or other times in your life? Are there patterns? And then you're gonna tackle what is the underlying belief that is creating this issue? [00:16:00] How can I think better thoughts?

How can I stop this belief pattern altogether? What would I rather believe? What belief could I choose that would change my outlook on life completely? So if you only remember one thing from this podcast, here's what I want you to. If you think better thoughts repeatedly, you will create a new belief for yourself, which will create emotions and new positive feelings, which will drive your behavior and change your reality in a more positive direction.

In changing your reality, you change the way other people react to you and view. So thinking better thoughts is where it all starts. Choose to believe that you are a beautiful soul on this planet with amazing things to share the world. Choose to believe that you deserve love. Choose to believe that you are the creator of your reality.

Choose to believe that you love [00:17:00] yourself. So the way you feel about yourself and the thoughts you think control your reality, choose thoughts that align with who you want to be. Something that you do have complete control over is the thoughts you think, and therefore the beliefs you allow yourself to create.

So that right there is really the secret. That's the. That's it. That's all there is. Thank you guys so much for tuning into the Hot Girl Healing Podcast. I had so much fun talking with you guys today and I really hope you found this information helpful and useful in some way, um, to target those underlying beliefs and overcome your trauma and become the person that you want to be.

And I really wanna be here to help you on your journey. So if you like me, you like my vibe, then feel free to stick around and let's figure our shit out together. If not ,byeeeeeeeeee.